The doctor cleared me to return to work yesterday as long as I could avoid the physical aspects of my job and my boss figured out a way to outsmart the system since generally we don’t allow “light duty” and when we do it is severely restricted and wouldn’t let me really do my job.  I had fully expected them to kick me out but was happy when they didn’t.  I was a little more tired than usual by the time I got to the end of my day but couldn’t really complain otherwise.  Today, however, I did something stupid.  When you get used to something you act on instinct.  I’ve been at my place of employment for almost 3 years and I’m habituated to it.  When certain things happen my body just jumps into action and reacts, my brain catches up a minute later and unfortunately that’s what happened today.  I wound up pushing harder than I should have against a door before I had the thought that hey maybe I shouldn’t be doing this.  As soon as I had that thought I stopped and backed up and called someone else over to deal with situation but it left me was a really shitty feeling to have to walk away from something that I felt like I should have been the one dealing with.  Obviously though priority number one needs to be my health and I need to take care of myself first and foremost.  I’ve felt a little sore all evening since then but I don’t feel any actual pain so I didn’t feel the need to go to hospital to get checked out or anything like that.  I definitely recognize the importance now of making sure I keep myself safe for the next few weeks and realize that part of that is making sure the people working around me know what my current limitations are that way they can step in if need be.

Aside from the minor discomfort I was feeling the more pressing concern I had when leaving work today was a splitting headache that was making my life miserable.  I’ve been prone to headaches all my life and the hope of alleviating them was part of what led me to make my initial switch to paleo eating, which I do think helped.  My migraines/headaches have been much fewer and far between over the course of much of the last year starting last February when I cut all caffeine (aside from chocolate) from my diet.  All that being said, since surgery a week and a half ago I’ve had a headache nearly every day and they’ve been pretty bad ones.  I’ve been alternating taking my ibuprofen for the wound and taking the medicine I’m prescribed for my headaches because the ibuprofen isn’t helping them one bit (unless they are particularly bad ones, maybe once a month at this point, ibuprofen usually works pretty well for me).  I’m wrestling with what is causing the headaches.  I don’t know if the fact that they coincide with surgery is relevant or not.  My worst ones are partially hormonally driven so I was due for that anyway but not for a week straight.

My diet obviously has been inconsistent and I need to get myself back on the bandwagon which I also feel might be a contributing factor to my ongoing headaches.  I said I was going to jump right back into the Whole30 upon returning to my house but the truth is I’ve been tired.  It’s a crappy excuse but it’s the truth, my energy level is down right now and standing in the kitchen cooking a bunch of food hasn’t been high on my priority list so I still haven’t been eating as well as I know I can and should be (which is also probably not helping my energy levels now that I think about it).  I don’t work until the afternoon tomorrow so the plan right now is to get some food cooked before work so that I can feed myself 3 good meals tomorrow and not give in to laziness and convenience and eat food that I know isn’t optimal.  I need to keep reminding myself that I’m sidelined right now through no fault of my own but that doesn’t mean I need to completely go off-track and do more damage than necessary to myself.

Lots to think about.  Hopefully I’ll wake up headache-free tomorrow and manage to stay that way after eating right throughout the day.  Also hopefully I will think  first then act while at work tomorrow.  Gotta keep in mind the important things, both of these tangents come back to the same thing: treat myself the best that I possibly can and keep myself as healthy as possible.  Can’t forget that.